The lighter side of int'l politics

And you thought WE had it bad.

One of the "downsides to democracy" is having to vote. OK, maybe that's not quite right. It's having candidates bombard us with reasons to vote for them, or more often, why NOT to vote for their opponents. Truly, it's a small price to pay to have a voice in a representative democracy, but still...it can be a bit annoying.

However, I have discovered that the U.S. is not the only country to suffer from this affliction. If possible, it's worse in the D.R. Or at least it's worse in Santo Domingo.

Probably because a third of the voters live in the capital city, but you can't drive a mile on a major road without seeing a sign for one of the candidates. I kid you not, that fully half of the billboards in the city are for a candidate. It's insane. And it's been that way since we got here last August. The election is in May. Finally. At which point all the billboard companies will be declaring bankruptcy, I assume.

Hipolito Mejia

Danilo Medina

 But that's not all. They have flashing neon signs, t-shirts, trinkets, TV ads and noise.

Noise, you say?

Yes, noise. As if the assault in the optics were insufficient, they back it with an amazing barage of sound.

On a recent trip out of town during Friday afternoon rush hour, we came upon (or were come upon) by a political motorcade for Danilo. Ten or twelve late-model, very expensive SUV's, all decked out with signs and lights, weaving their way through traffic, cutting people off in their senseless effort to stay together and spread the word of their candidate.

They expected people would move for them as they honked. They had police lights mounted but have no true authority to part traffic, and young ladies, in tiny tank tops of the campaign colors, hang out of the sunroofs waving banners and shouting. Going for the male vote, I suppose.

As if the one thing we needed during rush hour was to add a bunch of large SUVs weaving around, the worst thing of all was the caboose; a flatbed truck piled with nothing but speakers and lights. It announces the presence of the caravan with an overpowering blast of techno music.

You've been there, I know. Sitting at a stop light minding your own business when some kid in a souped up ride pulls up next to you and decides there is nothing in the world you want to do more than listen to his sub-woofer pounding. It's like that, on steroids.

That truck got stuck next to us for one hellish moment. We couldn't even talk. Our car shook from the waves of sound cascading down on us as the mountain of speakers rumbled their techno anthem.

"Don't worry about it," I would have shouted to them if it would have mattered. "We'll hold conversations after the elections. You just keep on rocking!"

"Does this work?" I asked the companions once we could hear again. "Who could possibly find this persuasive?"

I've asked some Dominican friends and they find it annoying as well. But apparently the campaigns are convinced it brings in votes, because they still do it. Both sides. All the time.

At Malachi's baseball game the other day, a smaller truck drove by the park, doing the same thing. I took a video of it but my cell phone speakers aren't ideal for that and so the impact of the sound was lost. But at least you can see an example, the truck loaded down with as many speakers as it can carry, the banners waving. Again, we had to shout to be heard over the sound, and if anyone in one of the houses happened to be taking a nap or sick at home, well they were out of luck.

As to what these candidates will actually do, I have no idea. If possible, the campaigns are even less issue oriented than ours in the States. Danilo tells us he will "keep what is good, correct what is broken." I guess that's better than the other way around. Hipolito simply declares on every billboard that he has "arrived." Goody gumdrops.

I'll bet if pressed, they would admit, like U.S. politicians, that they are in fact in favor of good education and jobs. And opposed to government waste.

An interesting note, the vice-presidential candidate running with Danilo is the current first lady, Margarita Cedeño de Fernadez. She's the most popular figure in all the polls, and she's more attractive than all the guys that are running (lots of 3rd party candidates) so we see her on the billboards a lot.

And I have no idea who the running mate of Hipolito is. He (or she) must be terribly unpopular or unknown or unattractive because I haven't seen him mentioned once.

I can't wait 'til May and this all ends. At which point I can jump right into the excitement of the full-throttled U.S. campaign.

But I will say, even though I'm a die-hard conservative, if I get back to the States and get stuck next to a decibel blasting Romney or Santorum motorcade, I'm voting Ralph Nader.